When You’re Feeling Stuck In Life
When You’re Feeling Stuck In Life
Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck? Stuck in a career that wasn’t going anywhere? In a passionless relationship? Stuck paying bills yet the debts continue piling up? Or stuck in one of life’s transitions: Moving? Retiring? Empty nesters? If you’ve ever felt stuck, you’re not alone! Yet here’s a hard reality…the world doesn’t care how stuck you are. Feel encouraged? The world turns for those who take action. Action changes everything. Shift your focus and where your focus goes your energy flows.
Getting stuck is a natural part of life and it’s part of our own growth process. But staying stuck is a choice, and a choice that often negatively affect us and those we care most about.
Several years ago, I found myself stuck. It’s hard to explain, but one day things were “different,” or was I different? Did it just happen by chance or did a number of events lead up to this point? The jobs I had provided well and through some investing principles learned at an early age money was not scarce. Life was just fun!
Then one day I woke up unsatisfied, empty, confined to a job that limited what I could and couldn’t do. It felt like the walls were closing in and there were no opportunities for growth. Not only did I feel like I was suffocating in my career, but in the other room I had some major responsibilities…there were two adorable kids sound asleep that needed a roof over their heads and food on the table. Something needed to change but I didn’t want to risk losing my lifestyle, nor unnecessarily shake up the family nest. I was stuck!!!
Advice That Keeps You Stuck
After seeking counsel on the matter most of the advice I got was pretty simple and straight forward:
- “I’ll pray for you,” or my personal favorite “Sending you positive thoughts.”
- “Suck it up! Welcome to reality.”
- “You’re good at what you do, just keep going.”
- “Why stir the nest and make others stressed out?”
- “Give it time and you’ll feel better.”
- “Do a lateral move.”
None of this advice helped get me unstuck. If anything it made matters worse…from stuck to trapped!
I began soul searching, asking myself, “What’s next? What do I really want to be doing?” I replayed my life’s interests from my childhood of wanting to be a rock and roll singer, to a fireman, to driving a truck…and nothing interested me – Well the rock and roll singer did, but that’s a story for another day –Video coming soon!
Someone suggested counseling. I don’t need therapy, “There’s nothing wrong with me,” however, my parents did allow me to drink tap water out of the hose as a kid. So maybe it’s their fault…of course it was! But even so, I needed to get unstuck.
That’s when I met the Dot Connector. The Dot Connector was a man who connected the dots of my life; from my early years till my 40s…(that’s right 40s. Could this be a mid-life crisis?) In doing this he brought insights and perspectives that would forever change my life. He is the reason I decided to leave my job and pursue a new career as a strategic intervention coach (and yes, I did go to school for this), and commit myself to helping people have major breakthroughs in their lives and get incredible results that improve the quality of their relationships, career, finances, and overall well-being. Through many of our conversations I realized I was constantly focused on what I didn’t have; or what was lacking in my life. My focus needed to change and change involves risk…here we go!
Tips For Getting Unstuck
So here are some tips for those who feel stuck and questions to ask yourself in order to move forward:
- What’s stuck? What’s stuck in your life (career, relationship, mindset, finances, life-purpose)?
- What do you think led up to you getting stuck (major events, decisions)?
- What was life like before you felt stuck?
- What is dominating your focus and energy?
- What’s one thing you can do right now…and I mean right now that would help you get unstuck (an action, a conversation)?
- Is there anything or anyone holding you back (if so, name it)? What do you think it is about the situation that’s holding you back?
- If you don’t take action, how will life look in a month? A year?
- If you do take action now, how will life look in a month? A year?
- Who can you talk with to help you move forward and get unstuck? Call them. Take them out for coffee.
- Decide, Commit, Plan, Take Action.
Remember: Where your focus goes your energy flows.
Marc Kitsko – Lead Coach