Achieve More by Deleting "Should" from your Vocabulary - Marc Kitsko

Achieve More by Deleting “Should” from your Vocabulary

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Achieve More by Deleting “Should” from your Vocabulary


Words matter, and how we use our words reflect an inner reality. Have you ever sat with a friend and heard yourself say, “I know I should…but…?” It seems innocent and it makes for some good conversation but think about what that phrase is really saying.

The word “Should” means, obligation, duty, or correctness, typically used when criticizing someone’s action.

  • He should do this…

  • You should have…

  • I should…but…

Often times it reveals a critical spirit and implies someone didn’t live up to an expectation or their responsibility. However, when “I should” is used in the context of ourselves we give our self a lot of grace on the things we “should” do.  Most of us think of it as an innocent word that indicates we’re not doing enough and we shrug it off.


Not so fast!!!


“Should” is poison to the soul. It a mindset that limits your potential and weakens your self- esteem because “should” becomes an excuse for Not. Living Full. Out.


When you say you “should” do something, what are you really saying?


  1. It’s an obligation that I’m not really fond of.

Think of all the things you don’t want to do but should do. Write a list of them. What’s holding you back from doing them? You never hear someone who is excited to eat chocolate say, “I should eat chocolate” they just do it because it’s something they want to do and will enjoy doing it. However, when something is an obligation or something we know it right to do but we’re not excited about it becomes a “should” do…Now that I’ve eaten my chocolate, I should go to the gym, but…

  1. Should is an excuse as to why you won’t do something.

“I “should” ________________,” is usually followed by, “but ______________.” When you say things like this, you are revealing a hidden truth about yourself.  The truth is you know and agree to the best course of action but you’re choosing to do the opposite. I see this often in relationship coaching where one person says, “I know I should apologize but…”

But what?

It’s funny to think that one simple action step will change the course of your life and your relationship, yet often times we live our lives in the “Should” zone rather than the “I will” zone.

  1. You know exactly what you need to do to make things better and you haven’t started yet!

My friend is a smoker and she knows she “should” stop smoking.  Several friends have said, that they “should” lose weight, many people know what they “should” do to improve their relationships. “Should” has become an excuse for not taking action. It’s easier and safer to live in “should” than to take action and change the course of your life.

If you have a long list of “should’s” and a short list of goals, prioritize them and choose one and follow through on it. Put your plan of action on paper.


Turn your “should’s” into “I will.”


Should is kryptonite to your soul. It robs you of your joy, motivation, and power to make positive change. Saying, “I will” gives you’re the resolve to get things done and action is great for building your confidence and your self-esteem. Once you begin taking action, watch and see how your life changes.

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